The Reasons Why I Declared War on Bears

By Raenwenn, High Elf Mage of Skyrim

I hereby announce that I am declaring war on the bears of Skyrim. This includes Cave Bears, Snow Bears and any other kind of bears I see. Why am I doing this, you ask? Well, here are the main reasons:

1. Bears are not nice people.
2. Bears attack you in the blink of an eye without warning.
3. This one time an adventurer was going down a trail and a cave bear (that the adventurer DID NOT SEE) attacked her for no reason at all! And the adventurer was just minding her own business!
4. It took that adventurer a lot of time to kill that bear (in self defense!) and she used up all her Potions of Minor Magika she had been saving for a boss or dragon. (Note: The adventurer was ME.)
5. Bears don’t carry any gold or potions. The only treasure they have is their furs, and those are really heavy. (I’m an elf, so my Stamnia is pretty low.)
6. Another time I saw these two bears and I thought I would avoid them because just one bear is tough enough, but they attacked me even though I was sneaking! I died and my body fell down a waterfall, and I’m pretty sure I heard one of the bears laughing as I fell.
7. Many other adventurers have complained about bears for the same reasons as these, plus others.
8. Bears are jerks.

I have made it my sworn duty to kill all bears I see in Skyrim. If you would like to join my pact, email me!!!

Death to bears!

Signed,
Raenwenn, High Elf Mage of Skyrim

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